And Then My Head Exploded.

So there’s this girl I work with. And she’s in nursing school.
Before I begin, let me tell you- she’s a bit dim.
She thinks she knows it all…but, nevertheless, there’s some empty space up there. And I’m not trying to be mean by any means. Please don’t think that.

It’s just that this really topped the cake. Fresh icing. So, I will talk about it here. Because I don’t want to be catty and talk about it to people who actually know her.
Once again, she’s in nursing school also. She’s already got a degree so she is completing the two years for nursing stuff.
I asked her this morning how school was going.
Everything was going good apparently. Great!

Then she told me she’s only been in school 3 weeks and already has an exam on fluids and electrolytes.
Reasonable, I thought.
But then she said she didn’t think it was soon enough to have a test yet and what could they possibly test on??
Confused, I thought…well, you could have a whole test on just fluids and electrolytes. That’s a lot of information right there.

Before I could say anything, she continued.
“Yeah, and you know my health assessment class is kinda slow. I don’t feel like I’m learning anything. We learned how to give a bath and make a bed.”
I explained how the first semester is usually Nursing Aide stuff and it can be slow when you want to learn a bunch of skills. But you still have assessing to learn anyways.
To which she replied: “Oh yeah, they spend a lot of time on assessing. I mean, our end of the semester exam has a full head-to-toe assessment.”
I told her our school had that for a check-off at the end of the first semester also.

But THEN she said:
“It just seems like a waste of time. I mean, do nurses even assess anyways?”

And my head exploded.
Do they even assess anyways?! I don’t have enough font or capitals or colors to reasonably express, without being annoying, how far my jaw dropped to the floor. Do nurses assess? Really. Seriously.
Do you even know what you are going to school to learn how to do? What, exactly, do you think nurses do all day?

I stammered and quickly recovered.
Yes! Nurses assess! That drives everything. It’s the very basis of our care. We assess without realizing it. But you have to know how to do full head-to-toe so that if you know what’s normal, you can find what is abnormal. You assess even when you’re just talking to a patient and seeing their LOC (level of consciousness).Yada, yada, yada.

She responded:
“Oh. Really? Like assessing skin when giving a bed bath. I get it. Huh. I really thought it was, like, the nurse practitioner’s who assessed.”

Whatever else could explode, did. Little blood vessels I think.

“Yeah, but that’s that. But I was watching [insert name of night nurse] get out the blood and put it in the little bottles to send to the lab and I was like, man! I wish I could be doing that! You know, instead of boring head-to-toe assessments.”

There was nothing left of me, but a little puddle of shock.

I just…I don’t even know how to finish this post.

Love,
Laney

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M-isms #10

On some women not liking diaphragms/cervical caps: “You gotta ask though because some women won’t like it- they get freaky about touching themselves.”

Clinicals + Lasagna = Sleepy

That’s right. It was a short shift of not a whole lot. I just tried to fill the time.
We talked about policies and procedures for 30 minutes.
I wanted to curl up in the fetal position and just sleep.

Now I’m home. Ate some lasagna.
YUM.

Now, I’m exhausted. Clinicals always makes me hungry and sleepy. I’ll probably go nap now.
So, this isn’t too exciting. Sorry for that.
I’ll post more this weekend.

Tonight:
Dress shopping with Britt
Birthday dinner for HK.

Happy Thursday to everyone!

Love,
Laney

Fundus Buddies?

NO!

My instructor wants to us to be fundus buddies on the postpartum (PP) floor. After today, I can confidently say that I do not find the fun in fundus (aka the top of the uterus that you can feel during pregnancy).
I’m so bored!

Granted, I think it’s awesome their are nurses who do PP, but tain’t for me.
It’s just a bunch of boobs, butts, and vahoohahs.
And when I feel like I’m not doing a whole lot, time slows. Today was slow. It took FOREVER. I thought I would never leave!
We arrived at 0700. Started the morning off by going through floor orientation and then started the unit tour. Then a classmate from another rotation came in.
“Howdy T! What are you doing here?”
“Oh well, I’m meeting so-and-so for my community rotation,” T replied.
“Oh okay, cool.”
“Yeah,” he continued. “Have you seen so-and-so? I was supposed to meet her at 0830.”

My head exploded. What?! It’s not even 0830 yet? Are you kidding me? I thought it was almost lunch time!
I checked my watch in a slight panic, pushing up my jacket sleeve.
If it were a movie, there would be horror music as it zoomed in to the bright digital numbers that screamed 08:18.

My day went on in that fashion until 1530. I thought the day was done, it was 1000. I thought I had graduated school, it was only lunchtime. I thought I had already had babies of my own, it was only time for a lactation consultant meeting that dragged for TWO HOURS.

Now, this is nothing against the unit. Some students liked it. I just like a faster pace.

Here’s how to remember your focused assessment: Bubble He.

B- breasts [engorgement, cracked nipples, no clogged milk ducts]
U- uterus [firmness, fundus, is it at the umbilicus?]
B- bowel movement [have they had one, stool softener after 2-3 days]
B- bladder [emptying it?]
L- lochia [bloody, mucousy, discharge…what color is it?]
E- episiotomy [check sutures, bruising, tearing, hemorrhoids]
H- Homan’s sign [dorsiflex to check calves for blood clots]
E- emotional [PP depression, appropriateness]

And that’s it. Ugh. Not my cup of tea.
I’m team lead tomorrow aka charge nurse. Which is fine, I like charging.

Oh, and it’s a short day. Due to floor/curriculum changes, we got split into shifts for this rotation. Either 0700-1100 or 1100-1500. Luckily, we all got the shifts we wanted and I am happily on the 1100-1500 shift. I’m not trying to be up super early.
Only three more days (one tomorrow and two shifts next week) and then I can move on to Labor and Delivery. Until tomorrow…

Love,
Laney

M-isms #9

On how to use drugs: “Well, I don’t know. They sniff it or whatever it is they do with the crack.”

For the new readers, you can find out where M-isms come from here.
=]

Twitter?


I don’t get it.
I feel like an alien who just got shown a computer for the first time.

Replace alien with myself and computer with Twitter.

Twitter users- What’s the hype? How do I get hyped? Should I even get hyped? Stop tweeting while I’m ahead?

I dunno.

laney_bo_baney

That’s me. And I have a grand total of 3 followers.
SO:
hip.
cool.
with it.
something.

If I don’t figure out how to use it, it will just sit there taking up valuable megabytes.
Until I give up, follow me. Or tell me how to follow you.
Surely, I’ll get the hang of it?

Love,
Laney

[photo cred here.]

Break Me Off A Piece Of That…

…stethoscope!

Okay, that’s definitely not how the song goes.
[Note: There’s an episode of The Office where Andy can’t remember what is the last word of the song. He spent the entire episode trying different things including applesauce, Chrysler car, and football cream.]

Anyways, I go back to clinical tomorrow. This semester is going to be insane with us rotating locations every two weeks. First up for me? Postpartum.

I haven’t been to clinical since the end of the November meaning I need to pack my pockets.

Teal stethoscope
Alcohol wipes
Multi-color pen
Bandage scissors
iphone (complete with calculator and apps)
pocket notebook
clipboard (super handy through one of the clubs that has references and values all over it)

Am I missing anything? What is an absolute must when you go to clinicals??

I am super excited to be back into the hands on care. I’ll be up bright and early at 0650. I’m definitely NOT a morning person.
Love,
Laney