Archive for the ‘ The M-isms ’ Category


On poor dosage test grades: “That’s the problem with y’all. I give you this nice good book and you don’t even use it. Shameful.”

On getting the class quiet: “Really! Hush up! Y’all couldn’t not talk to save your own lives.”


M-isms #10

On some women not liking diaphragms/cervical caps: “You gotta ask though because some women won’t like it- they get freaky about touching themselves.”

M-isms #9

On how to use drugs: “Well, I don’t know. They sniff it or whatever it is they do with the crack.”

For the new readers, you can find out where M-isms come from here.

M-isms #8

On why you take a diaphragm out within 24 hours: “Oh the horror stories I could tell you. We had this woman come in with a horrible infection- she had her diaphragm in for a week. Oh yes, imagine the smell that followed her around!”

M-isms #7

On African-American babies sometimes looking light-skinned when first born: “Sometimes, you gotta calm daddy down- maybe call security. They see this light baby and start thinking, I dunno, maybe mom was fooling around! But, then you show them the ears and the privates and say ‘See? They’re dark! White babies don’t look like that.'”

M-isms #6

On patient being hypothermic: “Now let me tell you, she was as cold as dead!”

M-isms #5

On determining if the baby is in breech position (upside down) during birth: “See, like, I can tell because when I put my finger in the vagina, if it goes into it’s anus, it feels like one of those Chinese finger traps…you know what I’m talking about?”