What’s not cheap? Being an “adult”. Being in nursing school. Owning a home. Having a family. Not having a trust fund back east.
Being an adult in nursing school with a home and a family and no trust fund back east really takes the cake though. (Although medical bills, emergencies, car troubles, etc etc would make the list as well).
Tain’t cheap and I am sure feeling it.
Let me warn you now that this post is not all butterflies and sunshine. It’s one of those self-reflections and observation kind-of post where I talk myself into some sort of sense.
The last couple of months since second semester began has been kind of rough. Ishaq and I got back early from our honeymoon hoping to save money. The wedding was great (and done for under $2000 total).
School started, surprise bills came up.
We’re still trying to pay off Ishaq’s loan from our 4-year college where we left after a semester so that he can start up at my nursing school. They won’t let him in without a transcript though. And we can’t get a transcript until the loan is paid off. We can’t get the loan paid off because the financial aid was supposed to pay it in the first place. They decided not to pay it since Ishaq’s father put false numbers on the application and they got audited and dropped. After it got dropped, through no fault of our own, we got stuck with the semester’s payment. Snowball effect, much?
Anyways, last week, Ishaq’s car got broken into and one of my old debit cards stolen along with his stereo (which didn’t have the face on it mind you, meaning they stole it and can’t use it). We had 9 dollars to get us through the rest of the week. Our bank balance went negative due to an unprocessed check from a month before. We have zero in savings thanks to the wedding and school. This happened 3 days after I decided to take a day off of work each week and switch from 36 hours to 24 hours a week in the hopes that my grades would be better in school. I drove to school with my low fuel light coming on halfway there. I tried to stop at the gas station on my way home and found out my credit card was maxed out. So I drove all the way home in the 90 degree heat while speeding and praying I would not get pulled over and that I would make it home without my car dying. Luckily, Miguel (my red car) got me home safe and sound.
Ishaq was a champ and tore our house apart finding 6 bucks in dollars and 4 in change so that we could both get to work and school the next day.
Luckily we got a paid a couple of days later.
But it’s after weeks like that, that I sit back and wonder if I’m going to make it through the next year and a half. I constantly feel this fear that I’m going to fail academically or financially. If I fail academically, I have to start the whole program over since they started a new curriculum. It wouldn’t be repeating one semester, it would be a year’s tuition down the drain. And we can’t afford to repeat. Plus, Ishaq can’t go to school until I’m done. And he’s been ever-so-patient. If I fail financially, I lose everything. CONUNDRUM.
We have a plan for success. I graduate, he goes to school, I work to put him through, he graduates, works for a year, we move to Boston and then travel nurse. That’s the tentative plan.
I just want so much. I want to be stable. I want to be successful.
And I know we’ll get there. T.O from school always says that failure is not an option.
We WILL get there.
It’s just that the process tain’t cheap.