I admit it. I’m totally lame.
Today was class elections and I wasn’t very assertive. I can be assertive when it comes to my family or my client. But if it’s just something for myself, I don’t really like putting myself out there. Last semester, I was class VP and this semester I decided to run for President since ours was stepping down.
I was nominated for both and didn’t take my name off the VP side or really promote myself. As a result, since I was the only one listed for VP, that’s what I was elected in for again. Which is fine! I just want to be involved.
But it’s frustrating since I did all of the Presidential work last semester and now I have to be under someone who hasn’t done class government at all. After the elections she asked me if I wanted to schedule a meeting with our advisor to plan the semester. But it doesn’t really work that way. And she didn’t tell me she wanted to run. She said she was going to run for secretary but got another classmate to nominate her cause she really, really wanted to be President. Bah!
I’m frustrated with myself for never really saying when I want something. I just don’t like the chance of rejection. It’s weird and lame, I know.
I ran for office in 6th grade when I transferred into a different middle school. I didn’t realize it was a popularity contest more than anything, so I didn’t get it and was totally devastated. I didn’t run for anything again until last semester. And I kinda have that feeling again. It was bugging me all day, but I couldn’t really admit it to myself until just now. I told Ishaq and now I feel better. A lot better actually. Just some slight feelings of vulnerability.
I don’t think I’ll try again next semester, however. Blargh. What I wouldn’t give to be confident and great at public speaking.