Self-Reflection?

Ugh, sometimes it feels we can’t catch a break. As soon as we get ahead in one way, something else comes up. Typical.

But it doesn’t matter. I’m happy! I’ve got a wonderful husband and a job that pays the bills. That’s what matters, right?

I can’t believe that it’s already been a year since school started. I feel like I’ve learned so much…too much. I see changes in myself too. I had a conversation about it with my mom last night actually. I’m less timid and can speak in front of large groups of people without having increased respirations or a rapid pulse like before. I can hold my own in argument with more confidence when I know I’m right.
I’ve stopped caring about kids my age thinking I’m lame cause I’d rather stay in and watch a TV marathon or play Halo all night instead of going out to the club. And the drama at school? No, thank you. I’ve also gotten better at saying ‘no’. Not an easy thing to do usually. I don’t want to go out to a bar and drink and get hit on by guys (or girls) because my husband is at home and I miss him. I’d rather drink with a few close friends at home. My mom used to say I was 14 going on 40. Mreh, that’s how I like it. I don’t like ginormous parties where you don’t know anyone and its awkward introductions. I like my couch. Or my bed. Scratch that. I like my couch, I LOVE my bed. It’s uber-comfy.
Oh, and my spare time. I’ve learned how to cherish it.
No, I don’t want to go to the mall and spend money I don’t have on my day off. I want to stay in and sleep and eat lots of food that requires the belt to be taken off. I even want to read a little bit so that I don’t fall behind. If nothing else, I can think of one thing that everyone in my class agrees on:
Friends and family who have never been nor plan on going, truly do not understand how hellacious nursing school is.
You can tell stories about what you learned and the dreaded phrase “skills check-off”, but it doesn’t hold the same weight as when you talk to another nurse/student.
I told my nurse manager the other day that I needed to come off of my hours b/c I had just attended clinical orientation. She stopped me mid-sentence and said “I understand, nursing school still gives me nightmares 20 years later”. You see?!!?!?

I love you nursing school, but I hate you. Longest year and a half to go ever.

PS- I realize this post is a rambling mess. Kinda like me. Blargh.

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  1. But – think of how happy you’ll be in TWO YEARS. 🙂

  2. Ahhh so true. That’s what’s keeping me going!!

  3. I love how we self-reflect at exactly the same time, and say a lot of the same things =). I adore you!
    I remember getting the phrase *insert young age here* going on *insert middle-old age here* all the time.

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