A little less hand holding?!?!

That’s right. A little less hand holding.
This was a great last couple of weeks for clinicals.

Last week, I had an adorable client who reminded me of my great-grandmother. I really start to feel like a full-fledged nurse for the first time because I got to advocate for my patient. I set up consults to address stressors outside of the hospital and really built up a rapport over the two days. It was awesome to hear that she was disappointed I wouldn’t be back for a third day. I really accomplished a lot!

This week, the leash was loosened a bit. My instructor really likes for you to take the opportunity to spread your wings if you fell ready because Ortho is a floor where you can do that. You see a lot of the same things (oh, if I see another hip….) which may be boring to some people. I thought it would be boring at first. But then, I realized what an advantage it is to get used to a particular clientele. You really get to test yourself and work faster and add on responsibilities.
For this week, I got a patient on Day 1, did his care, and discharged him home on Day 2. It was awesome! I got to do so many skills by myself- very exciting. My instructor said I was at the level I’m supposed to be at and that I could go in on my own. We would talk it over first…for example the dressing change. She would make sure I was competent and then let me go do it. It was fine since I had already performed all of these skills before.
So, this week I took out a foley catheter, took out an IV, did a dressing change, and administered meds- all on my own! My coassigned nurse peeked her head in while I was doing the dressing change so that she could note it for her own assessment and told me that my dressing change was awesome.
My patient and his spouse both told me I did a great job and how I must have been a straight A student (I wish).
I talked with my instructor about adding on to my assignment- possibly having two patients?? Next week, I’m team lead which is like being Charge Nurse…so I won’t be able to do it then. But the week after is my last week of clinical and she said that would be fine.

She also said how she liked that I was really maximizing my clinical experience because some people in the group were not. And then there were some people in the group not ready to handle that patient load. But she thought that I was more than ready to handle it.

HOO-RAH!
I’m floating on Cloud 9.

Knock, Knock

How sad am I? I tried to WOW Ishaq with a hilarious joke from school today.
Let me know what you think.

In lecture:
Instructor- “So this antibiotic reduces the reliability of birth control. So remember this equation…. Tetracycline+BirthControl = BABIES!!!!”

The whole class cracked up. Myself included.

So I told this comedic gem to Ishaq and was greeted…a stare. A blank stare for 5-7 seconds. Fake laughter followed. He tried to humor me.

“You just don’t understand! This is gold. Comedic gold!” I shouted.

I called my mom a bit later and told her the joke.

“Bahahahahahaa!!!” That was a proper response.

Man, nursing school. You’re just misunderstood. I still think you’re funny. When we aren’t fighting bitterly.

Guess Who’s Back? Back Again…

Hey! Basically, we’re getting down to the wire and my attention has been thrown full throttle into projects, papers, and tests.
The last test, I didn’t do so hot on…meaning more throttling at full force.

Also, clinicals is wiping me out. Now that the specialties are over, we are doing full patient care and charting for 8 hours a day every Wednesday and Thursday.

Here is a typical clinical day (for me on an orthopedic floor which is my current rotation):
0800: arrive on floor
0815: get assignment, greet patient, fill out CPS form with history and lab values, print off nursing rounds report, print off physician orders and write down what each order is for, have all of this done and ready for group report at 0930.
0845-0900: start patient assessment, assist with breakfast if necessary, mouth care, anything else they need
0930: group report.
1000: patient assessment/medication administration/vital signs/
1030: chart assessment, chart meds
1100: chart treatments (ADLs, safety, mobility, equipment, etc)
1130: get patient up and eating lunch/medicated before physical therapy. I also seem to answer family questions at this time since this is usually when they start showing up.
1200: IV assessment, chart said IV assessmet
1215: go to lunch
1245: return from lunch, check on patient. if they are out with PT then change linens and tidy up room.
1300: get patient back in bed. bed bath if needed and dressing change
1330-1345: chart treatments again (same as before but also including dressing change/wounds now)
1400: next set of vitals and chart those
1430: report off to nurse and leave floor for the day. go downstairs for post-clinical conference.
1500: go home!!

Of course, anything else needing to be done gets squeezed in. Last week, I had to advocate for my client and set up PT/OT consults (which hadn’t been set up yet even though my client was already a day postop and this could have delayed their discharge by a day!). I also had to set up a Social Work consult since there were reluctances about going home. I adored my patient last week. She said I was really sweet and seemed genuinely disappointed that I wouldn’t be coming back after my two days with her. It was awesome to have the same patient two days in a row. It was very different…I liked it!

Anyways, back to the grind tomorrow. Teal stethoscope and all.

BFFL’s

BFFL. [pronounced biffle]
best friends for life.

I talk about Ishaq a lot on here. He’s in my day-to-day so he comes up often.
A lot of times, I feel poor, financially speaking of course.
But, days like today make me realize how rich I am.
Super rich.
Like, better than Bill Gates rich.

My bffl’s.

The Dutchman who, ironically, became one of my closest friends after I flew 3000 miles away from him not long after meeting him. Who knew that myspace and AIM would find me one of my lifemates? I don’t talk to him often enough. I hardly ever get to see him. But I love him SO much. Really. I mean, how many other 20 year olds would fly across the country for a wedding? I plan to fly out when he graduates. I also want to see one of his concert gigs.
He’s great and my kittens love him. Win win.
One girl is gonna be super lucky to have him one day.

Dot, is my other half. She lives four hours away. Way too far in my opinion. One day, we’ll be close enough to have impromptu movie and ice cream nights again. I adore her. To know end. She’s a wise a soul. I would love to be in her brain for a day. I feel like she has a lot of really neat, in depth thoughts that she doesn’t always feel the need to talk about. I love that when we talk all the time, it’s great. And when we sit in silence, it’s just as great.
She is beautiful inside and out. And is always there when I need her.

Sam-I-Am is the coolest twelve year old ever. Who else could be so fun in the middle of the afternoon dancing randomly and exchanging good music with? She is the most blunt person I know and has a strong sense of who she is, what she likes, and what she doesn’t like. She cuts through the bullshit and inspires me in a lot of ways. And…she cracks me up. That girl is hilarious.

Anyways, I appreciate them to no end. I just feel lucky.

In other news, I think Balloon Boy all over the news is a waste of media coverage. And House is particularly good this season.

Screw You.

Today was a rough day. Third day out of three means, the last stretch of 36 hours since Friday.
Which means, I probably wouldn’t have been in a good mood anyways.

But then.
I keep getting bugged at work because I never bake/cook anything to bring it in. Usually because I never know about since I’m an HUC and we don’t necessarily get all the memos for potlucks like the nurses do.
So, last night [after work, mind you] I stayed up and made a batch of cupcakes. Ishaq’s favorite. I took the extra to work. Close to twenty to be exact.
One of the nurses, ate one and didn’t like it. Which is fine, not everyone likes everything. No big deal. But she made such a big deal about it that no one else wanted to try any.
She didn’t know I was the one who had made them. And I don’t think she knows I heard.
And I shouldn’t care.

But, some part of me was devastated.

Later tonight, at the in-laws house, Ishaq was trying to make me feel better. He asked his mum about the cupcakes from the wedding. He asked if she had liked them and she made an embarrassed face and turned beet red.
Which makes me mad. Not because she didn’t like them. But because, why didn’t anyone tell me they were bad?!??!
I served these at my wedding, for Christsake. I took these into work.
I wouldn’t have been offended if they were bad. I even did a test run and everyone said they were great.

It’s so embarrassing. Humiliating. Devastatingly so.

I told Ishaq I may never bake again. That’s how poorly I feel.
And if I do, it won’t be from scratch.
I feel that all the joy and love that I used to feel from baking has been sucked out of me.

At least for now.

And to the nurse, the one so kind enough to be a complete and utter bitch as to not care who the baker was, and to be completely insensitive [even if it weren't me- she had no clue who it was. it could have been anyone standing around], I say: Screw You. Oh, and the big red splotch on your mouth you were worried about all day really does look like Herpes no matter what you say.

[excuse the cattiness. it's late, i'm bitter, i'm sleep deprived]

On another note: 3 weeks of break is over, and school starts tomorrow. I plan to write more regularly again.

It’s Been Too Long

I just finished second week of fall break and am starting to feel rejuvenated. I’ve got another week left, but it’s time to get back to the books.
I went to a Blink-182 concert on Tuesday with Ishaq. It was a lovely overnight trip and the concert was amazing. We’ve curled up on the couch and watched a bunch of movies over the last couple of days as well.
This week’s agenda: Camping!
Well, we were supposed to go out to Pilot Mountain for 2 days and a night (or 3 days and 2 nights?), but it’s supposed to be raining.
New plan!
Camping indoors.

We’re gonna clear the furniture in the basement and set up a tent and a fluffy bed made from every blanket in the house. We’re gonna read, talk, and watch movies/play video games. Then we’re gonna build a fire and make s’mores upstairs. Also, go on some hikes along the trails just outside our home. (There are about ten miles of trail altogether, but our favorite is a 2 mile loop).

I am excited.
‘
On another note. I’m poor. And looking for scholorships or grants. Anything! Let me know if you see something.

Bah humbag.
Back to work. (6.5 hours down, 5.5 to go….)

Update in a Huge Nutshell.

This update is for the Dutchman. I have to admit I have been pretty awful at updating lately. I went on Fall Break starting not last Friday but the one before. I worked that weekend and then lolligagged all last week playing Rock Band and watching movies. I worked yesterday, today, and then will tomorrow as well.
I’ve got to get some reading done because I didn’t do squat the whole week before break which means I’ve got a couple hundred pages of reading to catch up on.
The plan for the rest of fall break:
-Homework at some point
-Finish ‘evaluation’ paragraph for Case Study project (which I plan to get done today)
-Wedding dress shopping on Monday with/for my friend A.Clark
-Spending the night in Charlotte on Tuesday and seeing Blink-182 in concert
-Hanging out with my sister at my house
-Going to Pilot Mountain for an overnight camping trip
-Spending time with my family
-Working a bunch

This semester has FLOWN by. And not because time flies when you’re having fun. It’s just been so busy. And nursing school is not necessarily what I would call fun.
After I get back from break (Oct. 19th), there will only be a month and a half left. How awesome is that?
And then I’ll be a senior.
Can’t wait.
I’ve just got to do well on my tests. I’m riding the edge right now in the testing category. It’s so weird. When we pow-wow in clinical and they ask me the questions from the testing book, I get them right. It’s just the structure of sitting down at a timed test that everyone gets ridiculously anxious over where I test poorly. Out of the four answers I eliminate two and always choose badly on the last 50-50 chance. Arhghsdopjfdsf.
I will not fail this semester. I cannot afford to repeat because I am not rich by any means.
I have to keep reminding myself that- it helps me keep my focus.

Oh and my midterm clinical evaluations were stellar. “Your potential is limitless” said my Oncology instructor who happens to be a NP (nurse practitioner). I was also told that if I keep up this pace, I could probably have two patients by the end of the semester. Which would be super.

I had to schedule myself at work all the way out to Feb. 6, 2010. What shit is that?? [pardon my french.]
But that’s all the way deep into next semester. How do I know what days I’m open.
If I went to a normal 4 year university I wouldn’t even know my school schedule.
What ridiculous-ness.

Interesting Things (to me) At the Moment:
[which may be uninteresting to you, so I won't be offended if you stop reading. I bolded the main points though]
There’s this TV series you should watch. You have to start from the beginning. But Ishaq and I were totally hooked. It’s called Jericho. It’s only about 35 episodes long so it’s like a really looong movie, but it’s amazing. It’s about nuclear bombs going off in the United States and what happens in the aftermath.
Another one, if you like British humor, is The IT Crowd. It’s the computer department made up of two nerdy guys and their female boss who knows nothing about computers. It’s absolutely hilarious. If you like British humor.
The new Paramore CD rocks my socks. I love them.
I’ve also been listening to A LOT of Smashing Pumpkins lately. I got re-addicted to them when I was making a mix CD(or playlist rather) for Ishaq. It had all this alternative rock music which is his favorite.
Two TV shows that are new this season: FlashForward and Glee. Check them out. They’re two totally different shows.
The first one is where everyone in the world has a blackout and are unconscious for 2 minutes and 17 seconds. However, we know that 2 people, and only 2 people, in the whole world were actually awake. So this group that is part of the FBI are tryng to figure what caused the blackouts and why. Also, during the blackouts, everyone had a “flashforward” and saw what they were doing on April 29th which is 6 months in the future. It is v. cool.
The second show is a comedy about glee club in high school. It’s a musical kind-of, but the singing is AMAZING. Forreal forreal. And Jane Lynch is the antagonist and she is hilarious. She’s been in loads of stuff including two and a half men and role models.
Apparently, the new trend for fall is plaid. I’ve always loved plaid, so I’m pretty excited at how easy it has been to find clothes I adore.
I also cut all my hair off. I was needing short hair. It was down to near my belly button and it is now shoulder-blade length. I had actually cut it to my shoulders a couple of weeks ago, but it’s already grown about 5 inches.
Oh, I finally caved and splurged on some North Face jackets for Ishaq and I. We have never had jackets where we’ve actually been really warm. And yesterday was cold. Really cold. I had to use the heater in the car on the way to work. And it’s only the beginning of October. Usually it doesn’t get remotely chilly until way later. Which makes me think it is going to be a cold winter. Hence, the splurging. But I got them at a great deal and saved about 30 dollars on each jacket AND got free shipping which made the savings about $70. HOORAH!
Last, but not least, Rock Band is awesome. I kick butt on the drums. Just so you know.

I think that’s all for now.
I’m sorry that was horribly long. In my defense I hadn’t posted in two weeks.

Week 2 of Oncology

I had a patient that had everything but the kitchen sink wrong. From various psychological and psychosocial issues to an extremely advanced form of cancer to an advanced stage of an autoimmune disorder…I saw it all.

It was interesting to see the social stigma when it came to the autoimmune disorder. Some people refused to enter the room even though there was no bleeding or anything. We talked. The first day this patient was alone. So alone. Growing hypoxic and making no sense. Rambling.
Wasting away.
As a student, I couldn’t do much. The doctors were consulting with each other in the hallway.

So I sat. And we talked.
We talked about family and faith.

They told me how they were normally introverted but I was easy to talk to.

The next day, a complete 180 degree turn had occurred overnight. Where their skin had been dry and cool and blue the first day, it was now warm and pink. Up and eating breakfast with family that finally decided to come in after days of being in the hospital.

After the care had been given and the paperwork done- we sat. And we talked.

Sometimes, that’s all you can do I’ve come to realize.
Sometimes, that’s all that’s needed.

The spouse, one with a history of abuse, causing a ruckus in the hospital from being difficult to please, thanked me for the care I had given. The spouse went back to the bedside and watched the patient sleeping in a chair before opening a book.

The prognosis isn’t good. I don’t want to work in hospice or palliative care.
But I am so thankful there are people who do.
Some of the nurses on that floor are beyond amazing.

The prognosis won’t change.
Yet, I walked away still feeling like I made some sort of difference. Or I had some kind of effect.
I think that’s what counts.

20.

Today I am twenty.
I am no longer a teenager.

I am full of shrimp curry, salad, dr pepper, and cake.

I am watching Jericho with my husband.

I am content and happy.

I am finishing up homework.

This is a great start to the new year.

Lucky

My husband is adorable. Can I just say that? I think I will.
In fact, I am so impressed by him on this particular day that I’ve decided to write a whole post about him to stash away in the corners of my blog/journal.
We’ve had a few arguments the last couple of weeks. Not a lot. But more than normal for us.
To be honest, any argument over one in the span of a month (every now and then a week) is pretty rare for us. But we had a few. And as a result we were both in a funk. Cause we hate arguing. It messes up our whole day. It makes me introverted and I don’t particularly like being that way. Any day I can’t share wholeheartedly with my husband is a day wasted in my book.
So, he’s the type of guy that doesn’t consider the matter 100% resolved until we’ve seen each other in person and you can see the resolution on the other’s face.
And today, he called me and said, let’s take our lunch at the same time so that we can play chess. We like to play chess with each other through our iPhones. I readily agreed.
Two nurses were sitting behind me chattering away about their day nonstop. I sat with my hummus, pita bread, and phone chatting in between moves to my husband.
About 20 minutes into our game, I heard the nurses stop and one of them said “awww”. Curious, I looked up.

Standing right over me, was Ishaq.
Ishaq, who I had assumed was in the break room at his own job 15 minutes away, was reaching for my hand- pulling me away from the hummus and the pita.
He told me he could only stay for 2 or 3 minutes but he wanted to see me so that we could make up. I walked him outside with a huge grin on my face.

I adore my husband. He lit up my days and continuously lights up my life.
I’m so lucky.